Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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