so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I faked an abortion last night.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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