Buhtt sex?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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