by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
