she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
