That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
