I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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