whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
