Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
