Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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