a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
