There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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