We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
