i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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