miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
