She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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