Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
