quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Quick, to the slutcave!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
