For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
