My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
