I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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