Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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