I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We need to get me chipped asap
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
