how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
