i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My breasts were aching with rage.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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