Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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