She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
