Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize