So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
