I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
