Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
