I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize