Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
