If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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