Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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