Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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