the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
