I wannas sexs uuuuu
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
