He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
