She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
