I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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