Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize