You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
No subtext here. People are naked.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
