i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
