I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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