i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
