i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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