I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize