dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
