I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
