Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
