Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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