just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize