god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she told me i tasted like america
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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