I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
