the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
