Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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