things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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