Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
