The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
