Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
