i think my tv is drunk
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
